When I was five years old, my parents went on a trip to New
York City. It was my first time without them, but my parents promised they
would bring me a present if I was brave. That present was a picture book
telling the story of Degas’ statue Little Dancer of Fourteen Years. I have
always identified with the statue. I was a very shy little girl myself, and
certainly not the best in my own ballet class. In the picture book, the little
girl was shy as well, and also struggled in her classes, but she was good enough
to model for a statue—that is why her face is so resolute.
I was
reminded of this experience after the reading “When Texts Become Real.” In the
reading, the author describes a group of girls who watched Star Trek and got so
involved in it that it became something of their own creation rather than
simply a television show. In my own way, Little Dancer of Fourteen Years has
become my own creation—a person with a clear identity, created by my young
imagination.
As I’ve
grown up, that statue has become a symbol of that part of my identity—they shy,
naïve girl who tries very hard. Having gone to college very young, I have often
felt like the statue with the resolute face.
However, in
many ways I was also very thoroughly prepared to attend college. My parents’
jobs as university professors in music and the humanities gave me the
opportunity to be widely exposed to a great amount of thought and art. By the
time I was fourteen years old myself, my brain was filled with Hemingway and
Stravinsky. I won’t deny that it has given me an advantage in my schooling, and
I am very grateful for that.
Looking
back to the young girl of the statue, I realize that representation of a young,
female youth ended up having much less to do with my identity than I thought.
Though I still feel young, I have an opportunity for growth and an access to
knowledge this young girl would never have. Historically, she would not have
the potential that I have to become educated and create a career for herself.
In order to
represent that, I took an image of Little Dancer of Fourteen Years and edited
the photo so that it was simply a silhouette of the statue. As my confidence
and knowledge have grown, that part of my identity that is represented by the
statue has become a shadow as well—which is why I chose to represent the piece
as a silhouette. Over the top, I laid a grid of portraits of the great artists
and thinkers that have expanded my mind, influence me intellectually, and given
me the opportunities that have separated me from the Little Dancer. Here I took
inspiration from Frank Gehry’s architecture. He combines fluid shapes with
structural grids. In my piece, I took the more fluid shape of the impressionist
statues and then superimposed the grid of images on top of it.
I made sure
to make the grid of images fade a bit, so that they compete with the silhouette
of the Little Dancer. In a way, I am still competing with these two elements of
art in my own identity—trying to figure out of my access to knowledge or my
innate shyness will determine who I am.
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